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As the buyer, use these tips to help ensure you get the most for your shipping dollars.

1. Research! Before purchasing from the seller, check out his published shipping rate for the item of interest. If it seems reasonable and you are happy with it,

look to see if he has other items for sale that are also of interest
determine if he has a published shipping discount for multiple purchases
contact the seller, in advance of paying for the initial item to determine whether he will offer you a shipping discount if you purchase multiple items
Ask if he will use alternate shipping methods

2. Understand! Know what constitutes shipping and handling charges.

Shipping heavy items over long distances costs more money than shipping those same items over short distances. Pay attention to the location of the item you are interested in buying. If it is close to you, geographically, you can expect to pay less in shipping costs than purchasing the same item located across the continent, or overseas.
Handling costs are a very real part of shipping. With a variety of shipping methods, also come a variety of costs. USPS Priority Mail provides free boxes and envelopes, but remember, not all items fit conveniently into one of these free boxes. Plastic bags and packaging materials used by your seller to protect your purchase and get it to you in the best possible condition also cost money. Printing labels on their computer costs money, but provides a better chance that the label will be readable, and therefore, will get to you in the shortest time possible.
I use a single handling fee of $1.50, no matter how many items are purchased and shipped together. This $1.50 is already reflected in my posted flat rate shipping and handling charges, and is built into my calculated rates. Other sellers charge a different amount, or a percentage of the total purchase price to cover these expenses that make up the handling fees. Some sellers also include in their handling fees, the costs of listing, Final Value Fees charged by eBay, and PayPal fees charged. I do not include thes in my handling fees, but choose to ensure they are adequately covered in the actual price of my items offered for sale.

3. Communicate! Be willing to work with your seller, to get the best rate possible.

Ask your seller to provide you with the combined shipping weight of the items you are interested in buying.
Use the on-line calculators available for UPS, USPS, and FedEx, to determine the ball-park figure for shipping.
If his total shipping and handling charges far exceed these estimates, ask him to break out the handling fee charges and determine whether he is willing to negotiate these.

4. Reward! Become a repeat customer.

Add this seller to your list of Favorite Sellers and sign up for mailings from his store.
Often, he will offer special discounts, coupons and shipping deals to return customers. Why? because they are a known entity. They have been satisfied customers in the past and have transacted their business in an acceptable manner.

5. Feedback! Finally, and I always stress this to eBay customers making their first purchase from an eBay seller, check the seller's feedback.

If his previous customers have been happy, your chance of a positive transaction is better than if he has a marginal record of customer satisfaction.
Also, remember to leave feedback for your seller.
As a seller, I always check both the feedback left for my customer and that left by my customer. It helps me gauge whether I have a good eBay customer, or one who tends to have issues with the merchandise purchased.